Renaissance (Aunt Tam's Journal #8)

"Madame Tam, where shall I place the orchids?"

"Oh, put it by the altar, please."

I didn't look back to check on Dua. I knew she'd do every duty I gave her properly. It had been a very long time since I had trusted anyone so. I suppose it was a nice feeling, to have some sort of company again. 

Que was going to bring Hang, my niece, to me for the first time. We'd been preparing for their visit for a week now, and I spent half of my day at the markets, looking for the best quality meats and fruits, and the other half preparing the house. It was more decorated than usual, and looking at the busy rooms I wondered who I was trying to impress. Was it Que? No, she knew what my house looked like, didn't she? Then was it Hang? But would a child truly care about the beauty of my house? 

I think I was just trying to show Hang the greatness of our family. I knew the poverty she lived in, and I think I just wanted to show her our family was... better. I felt guilty for doing this, but I also knew how Que really wasn't on my side. Ever since Ton had died... no, ever since her brother took everything away from us, Que hadn't truly been a part of our family. But Hang... could be. She had my blood. Our blood. She was family. For the first time in years, I was going to be with my family.

I was in the kitchen, finishing up the preparations when I heard chatter. They had to be here!

I walked out, opening the main door with excitement I hadn't felt in years. My mind completely ignored Dua and Que, and I focused on the child. Fearful, beautiful, so so beautiful. It was like seeing Ton as a little boy again. Just the sight of her warmed my heart, and gave me hope. Life was better. Life was splendid, in fact, and it would just keep getting more and more wonderful. 

Mourning (Aunt Tam's Journal #7)

Something utterly dreadful has happened. I knew that Que was pregnant with Ton's child, and I can't exactly say I was happy about their reunion, but I certainly was glad our family name would continue. Though this confused me greatly, because I also knew that Ton had married another woman and even had two boys with her. I didn't think my brother could ever do such a shameful act.
I suppose I was right in some way. Ton had died. Of illness, they said.
I felt sad at first. But then my stomach clenched in rage knowing that if Ton was with me now, he would never have fallen ill in the first place. I would have taken care of him. I was furious, because my brother had been driven away by unfair idiots claiming to bring justice.
I couldn't sleep at night.
I felt guilt.
I was guilty because I could have told him to come back. I could have forced him to stay. He could have rebuilt our honour with me.
But no. Men are so weak, aren't they? So what if you're ashamed? So was I, but now look where I am.
I think there's more shame in running away than there is in living in suffering. I am proud to have stood here all my life, unmovable like a 1000 year old tree whose roots have grown so thick and long that it simply is impossible to get rid of.
But I still couldn't get any sleep for a few days. Not that I slept much anyways.
I sat by the courtyard, dreaming of the days when Ton and I used to sit here together.
A curious thing loss is. This isn't like losing a house, or rice paddies. I can get those back. You can even reclaim honour, but you can't bring back a life.

A Carcass (Aunt Tam's Journal #6)

 Arriving at our family home when it had finally been given back to me was an interesting experience. I stood by the gate for a few minutes, failing to get this smile off my face. It was mine again. I could do whatever I wished with it, I could grow my rice and fix up the house, and maybe one day Ton would come back and our family would be back to its happy days. I doubted that he could ever get over his shame and show his face, but I still held onto the hope.
 When I entered the garden, my smile disappeared. Weeds had grown everywhere, the trees had died and been left bare without their leaves, and there were no signs of the flowers which once decorated the porch. Dust particles glimmered in the sunlight, as if laughing at me.
 The inside of the house was no better. It looked like an earthquake had broke it apart and a fire had left it ashen and dirty. A nauseating stench filled every room. Parts of the brick walls were missing. Everything was wrecked.
 I heard some clucking noises and walked towards the courtyard to find out what all this was about. I looked through the door to see chickens relaxing on the ground.Why were there chickens in my house?  Wait... where were the beautiful tiles?
 I gritted my teeth. Bich and Nan must have taken them. My blood boiled as I looked through the other rooms.
 I would fix it up. I would make our house beautiful again. I would bring honor to our family. I had our house back, now I would raise enough money to make everything as it was before.
 There's nothing that can motivate me like injustice can.

Rising From the Grave (Aunt Tam's Journal #5)

The sun was setting on my paddy. The already beautiful sight of the fully grown rice was amplified by the red and violet encircling the warm ball of light. It was time to get cleaned up and sleep, until dawn, when I would get back up again with the sun.

As I walked to my hut I saw someone coming my way. It was Phuong, the girl who ran my noodle business for me. She handed me the days earning, and I gave her her pay. Counting my money, I walked into my hut. I organized it in my belt and got cleaned up before bed.
Deciding to take one last look at my paddy to sleep peacefully, I stepped outside. Just at that moment, the daughter of one of the woman whose's rice paddy I work at came running.
"What is it, Cam?" I asked.
"Madame Tam, Madame Tam!" she yelled. I let her catch her breath for a minute. She spoke again:
"These people came to the village! They said they were from this... Team for the Rectification of Errors. They said they're giving back our properties! Yours too, Madame Tam! They're giving back your house and all your fields! Finally, justice has come!"
It took me a moment to compose myself.
Yes! Finally! This torture was coming to an end. I could raise my family name and our honor from the grave. No, it was never buried. Our honor was just a torch, waiting to light a bigger fire. And now it was time.
I could sleep an hour late. Cam and I headed into town to claim our property. 

Book 6 of Virgil's Aeneid

Summary
Aeneas and his crew arrive at Italy. Following his fathers advice he visits the temple of Apollo to pray, where he finds a priestess named Sibyl. He asks Sibyl if she can grant him entrance into the Underworld, and she says this will only be possible if he buries Misenus, and if he finds a golden branch from a tree which has to snap off easily. He returns to Sibyl, having completed the tasks.
When they arrive at the Underworld, they see souls who are not granted entrance because they have not been buried properly. Charon the boatman lets them pass the river when he sees the golden branch.
In the part of the Underworld for people who died in the same of love, he finds Dido. Aeneas tries to speak to the ghost of Queen Dido and tells her that he actually did not want to leave her, but he was following the orders of the gods. Dido ignores him and runs to Sychaeus, her once husband. 

He’s lead by Sibyl through the Underworld. Next they speak to spirits of those who died at war. Aeneas finds Deiphobus, the son of Priam, whose body is torn apart.

From a distance, Aeneas observes Tartarus, the part of the Underworld where the evil are punished. He watches the Fury Tisiphone whip the guilty, as Sibyl explains to him what other creatures and punishments await sinners.

After Aeneas places his golden branch by the gates of Elysium they are granted access. In the Groves of Blessedness, he finds his father Anchises. Anchises shows him all the spirits who will be purified and given another life so they may make Rome prosper. After Aeneas’ soul has been moved and inspired to create Rome, he leaves the Underworld through the ivory gates. 

Epic Simile

Lines 1033-1047

My son, it is beneah his auspices

that  famous Rome will make her boundaries

as broad as earth itself, will make her spirit

the equal of Olympus, and enclose

her seven hills within a single wall,

rejoicing in her race of men: just as

the Berecynthian mother, tower-crowned,

when, through the Phrygian cities, she rides on

her chariot, glad her sons are gods, embraces

a hundred sons of sons, and every one

a heaven-dweller with his home on high.

Quotable Passages

Lines 725-735

Aeneas suddenly looks back; beneath

a rock upon his left he sees a broad

fortress encircled by a triple wall

and girdled by a rapid flood of flames

that rage: Tartarean Phlegethon whirling

resounding rocks. A giant gateway stands

in front, with solid adamantine pillars—

no force of man, not even heavens’s sons,

enough to level these in war; a tower

of iron rises in the air; there sits

Tisiphone, who wears a bloody mantle.

Lines 846-854

They came upon the lands of gladness, glades

of gentleness, the Groves of Blessedness—

a gracious place. The air is generous;

the plains wear dazzling light; they have their very

own sun and their own starts. Some exercise

their limbs along the green gymnasiums

or grapple on the golden sand, complete

in sport, and some keep time with moving feet

to dance and chant.

Muddy Excellence (Aunt Tam's Journal #4)

I was starting to get somewhere.
I was exhausted, yes, from working under the sun for so many hours, and a little frustrated that I didn't get exactly what I deserved for my work, but seeing my own rice seedlings grow gave me a feeling of bliss so unique I would probably never feel it again. I felt happy with my feet in the mud, walking carefully between the delicate, beautiful sprouts. I took off my hat and wiped the sweat off my forehead.
I felt at peace here. I liked work. It distracted my mind from the things that would destroy it. Thinking too much was lethal.
I admired every single seedling. I felt like a mother watching her children play. After almost one year of this lonely suffering, I finally felt pleasant.
After I was done caring for my little green children, I would go to bed for only a few hours, then get up at dawn and get back to work.
No one else I knew put so much work into their rice paddies. But mine were going to be perfect. After all, I couldn't settle for less. Maybe that's more the reason why Chinh brought doom to our family: not because we owned more land, but because he couldn't bear with the fact that we had more passion for greatness than others did. Maybe that's why Ton hasn't come back, because he feels he can never regain this greatness.

A Flashback (Aunt Tam's Journal #3)

It was raining.
Normally, I would have liked the rain. I liked its soft rhythmic tapping. I liked that it spared us the work of watering the flowers. I liked how it puffed our hair up and curled it even more than usual.
Today I hated it. I despised it almost as much as I hate Chinh, and Bich, and Nan, and everybody else who has put me and my family to shame.
I lay in the hut I was hidden in, watching the rain drops beat the floor, crawling in from all the holes in the roof. Each thud made me angrier. I felt like I was going insane. But I would survive. I was stubborn, and it was my greatest trait.
When the rain stops I might go outside to watch the fog and the gray skies. Something about those gives me pleasure. I might go to watch people praying in the next door temple, and hope that Chinh catches a cold from standing under the rain.
After a while sleep took me, and the rain became a lullaby.
Life will get better too. I will fight for it. No matter what I have to do.