Introduction and Conclusion to Journals about 'Paradise of the Blind'

I had written the introduction before, but I decided to post them together to see any changes in my thoughts and opinions on the book.

Introduction
Paradise of the Blind, is a book about a young adult named Hang and the problems she faces as she's left between two feuding families. Her uncle Chinh has ruined the lives of her father and aunt. Her mother, Que, seems to be forced to take a side: her brother, or her husband.
I haven't finished the book yet, but I like it so far. Currently the characters have captured my interest, and I'm trying to understand Que's true motives and waiting for her to pick a side. I cannot decide if she is simply a weak-willed character who is easily swayed by manipulative people, or if she submits to her brothers requests because she is holding onto something selfishly in fear that she will lose her family and be left alone.
Currently, my favourite characters are the Bohemian and Aunt Tam. I find the Bohemian interesting because he seems to be neither good nor evil, but he is kind. Also the fact that Hang doesn't refer to him by his real name amuses me. I'm looking forward to seeing his interactions with Hang.
I like Aunt Tam because she is a strong female character, and seeing someone like her in a book about slightly older times is very rare and pleasing. I admire how she appears to be much stronger than her brother, and has reached her goals all on her own. I will write my journal entries from her perspective, because I'd like to learn more about her.


Reflection
Duong Thu Huong's novel, Paradise of the Blind, didn't interest me too much at first. We'd read books that reminded me of this: about family and traditions and food (for example: Fasting, Feasting by Anita Desai). What really grasped my attention in the book was the political side, and the characterisations. When I learned what the title meant, that the whole book was basically criticising communism, I was intrigued, because for the whole time I'd thought it was simply a story about a family in Vietnam. Yet it was so much more than that. I started to notice things I hadn't, like how some characters seemed to represent political viewpoints. The family feuds were much bigger than they seemed as well. Chinh and Que seemed to symbolize a side of Vietnam that wanted or gave into communism, and Aunt Tam was one who resisted it and stuck to the old days. Their fight for influence over Hang might have been representing this battle. The 'blind' were the ones who hoped in vain that communism would bring them their paradise.
The presentations in class about the history of Vietnam helped me better understand the story, as before all I knew about the country was its location and that America had had a war there. I found it interesting to learn about a culture so different than anything I'd read about before. Vietnam was not all that similar to China or India as I'd thought it might be. This culture was explained through Hang's elaborate descriptions of food, festivals, opinions, and dialogues between characters about certain events. It was very fun to learn about these things (though 'rice' was probably the most repeated word in the book and it got me thinking how bored I would get if I ate rice as often as these Vietnamese people did).
To write my journal entries for Aunt Tam, I had to read through most of the book again. This way I caught things I'd missed my first time reading through, and I learned much more about the character. She had ambition, hope, and many plans she never talked about until she put them in motion. I tried to capture her possible thoughts as she worked her way from poverty to luxury, and my opinions on her relationship with Hang. I believe she loved Hang, but she also desired to put Hang on the path she wanted, and drive her away from Chinh and Que. She was a mysterious, fair, and inspiring character.
The end of the book really surprised me as well. I liked that in the end Hang kind of went her own way and made her own decisions. She seemed to finally be free from the two women who were constantly trying to pull her one way or the other. I was also very impressed with her skills of dealing with adults who used and manipulated her.
 I enjoyed reading this novel as the author had paced it very well and did not unravel all the mysteries at once. It helped widen my view of the world and educated me on many new things I would most likely not have come across on my own.

Surrender? (Aunt Tam's Journal #9)

I'd been ill for 4 months now. I didn't know what it was. I hadn't gotten ill in 20 years, at least. 

But all of a sudden I had gotten so weak. In the mirror I looked like a skeleton, and my body simply could not contain any food. I was always tired for no reason. I couldn't walk out of bed, I couldn't even sit up without Dua's help. It was utterly demoralizing to be reduced to this. The first two months, I'd been angry with my illness. Dua had to drag me back to bed from the rice paddies many times. I refused to just give up. 

But now it was different. I didn't want to get out of bed ever again. The only time I allowed Dua to lift me out of bed was to go take a bath. I don't know why, but suddenly, the mud and dirt I'd loved for so many years had become repulsing to me. I loved being clean. It was calming to lie in bed after a bath, and I felt like I was floating. 

Yes, I felt very detached. 

I suppose, I just knew I was going to die.

Now all I thought of was Hang. Hang, my dear girl, who had suffered so much because of her useless mother. Que... that woman had abandoned her daughter for the children of that creature she called her brother. I hated them both. But I tried not to think about it. We'd called Hang here. I was going to give her everything I had, so that she could take care of herself because her own mother failed to do so. 

I thought of Ton. I was going to join you soon, brother. But not just yet. I had to see Hang. At least once more. I couldn't go anywhere before I saw her. I was a stubborn lady, even with death. 

Renaissance (Aunt Tam's Journal #8)

"Madame Tam, where shall I place the orchids?"

"Oh, put it by the altar, please."

I didn't look back to check on Dua. I knew she'd do every duty I gave her properly. It had been a very long time since I had trusted anyone so. I suppose it was a nice feeling, to have some sort of company again. 

Que was going to bring Hang, my niece, to me for the first time. We'd been preparing for their visit for a week now, and I spent half of my day at the markets, looking for the best quality meats and fruits, and the other half preparing the house. It was more decorated than usual, and looking at the busy rooms I wondered who I was trying to impress. Was it Que? No, she knew what my house looked like, didn't she? Then was it Hang? But would a child truly care about the beauty of my house? 

I think I was just trying to show Hang the greatness of our family. I knew the poverty she lived in, and I think I just wanted to show her our family was... better. I felt guilty for doing this, but I also knew how Que really wasn't on my side. Ever since Ton had died... no, ever since her brother took everything away from us, Que hadn't truly been a part of our family. But Hang... could be. She had my blood. Our blood. She was family. For the first time in years, I was going to be with my family.

I was in the kitchen, finishing up the preparations when I heard chatter. They had to be here!

I walked out, opening the main door with excitement I hadn't felt in years. My mind completely ignored Dua and Que, and I focused on the child. Fearful, beautiful, so so beautiful. It was like seeing Ton as a little boy again. Just the sight of her warmed my heart, and gave me hope. Life was better. Life was splendid, in fact, and it would just keep getting more and more wonderful. 

Mourning (Aunt Tam's Journal #7)

Something utterly dreadful has happened. I knew that Que was pregnant with Ton's child, and I can't exactly say I was happy about their reunion, but I certainly was glad our family name would continue. Though this confused me greatly, because I also knew that Ton had married another woman and even had two boys with her. I didn't think my brother could ever do such a shameful act.
I suppose I was right in some way. Ton had died. Of illness, they said.
I felt sad at first. But then my stomach clenched in rage knowing that if Ton was with me now, he would never have fallen ill in the first place. I would have taken care of him. I was furious, because my brother had been driven away by unfair idiots claiming to bring justice.
I couldn't sleep at night.
I felt guilt.
I was guilty because I could have told him to come back. I could have forced him to stay. He could have rebuilt our honour with me.
But no. Men are so weak, aren't they? So what if you're ashamed? So was I, but now look where I am.
I think there's more shame in running away than there is in living in suffering. I am proud to have stood here all my life, unmovable like a 1000 year old tree whose roots have grown so thick and long that it simply is impossible to get rid of.
But I still couldn't get any sleep for a few days. Not that I slept much anyways.
I sat by the courtyard, dreaming of the days when Ton and I used to sit here together.
A curious thing loss is. This isn't like losing a house, or rice paddies. I can get those back. You can even reclaim honour, but you can't bring back a life.

A Carcass (Aunt Tam's Journal #6)

 Arriving at our family home when it had finally been given back to me was an interesting experience. I stood by the gate for a few minutes, failing to get this smile off my face. It was mine again. I could do whatever I wished with it, I could grow my rice and fix up the house, and maybe one day Ton would come back and our family would be back to its happy days. I doubted that he could ever get over his shame and show his face, but I still held onto the hope.
 When I entered the garden, my smile disappeared. Weeds had grown everywhere, the trees had died and been left bare without their leaves, and there were no signs of the flowers which once decorated the porch. Dust particles glimmered in the sunlight, as if laughing at me.
 The inside of the house was no better. It looked like an earthquake had broke it apart and a fire had left it ashen and dirty. A nauseating stench filled every room. Parts of the brick walls were missing. Everything was wrecked.
 I heard some clucking noises and walked towards the courtyard to find out what all this was about. I looked through the door to see chickens relaxing on the ground.Why were there chickens in my house?  Wait... where were the beautiful tiles?
 I gritted my teeth. Bich and Nan must have taken them. My blood boiled as I looked through the other rooms.
 I would fix it up. I would make our house beautiful again. I would bring honor to our family. I had our house back, now I would raise enough money to make everything as it was before.
 There's nothing that can motivate me like injustice can.