Is this what living is?

I heard a noise
behind the clatter of my boots
and the scraping of my bag against my leg.
I slowed down
and cleared
my head.
I could hear the leaves of the trees
rustling rhythmically
and the wind
singing ominously
Ominous but calming
like nature was casting a curse
you simply had to accept.
And my breath was foggy
and rapid
and my lips like ice after wetting them habitually
I felt like a part of it all
And the spell was broken
with the opening of a door.

♂ = ♀

For the past few days a bunch of people have been coming to me to ask if I'm a 'hardcore feminist' or making jokes about how women belong in the kitchen.
I find this quite infuriating and I hope this blog entry clarifies some things about feminism.
Yes, I am a feminist and I am proud to be one.
But I really don't think people understand what feminism is.
Although it has the femi- at the beginning of the word, feminism is not believing women are superior to men. That's called sexism. Men can be sexist. Women can be sexist too.
Feminism is believing both genders are equal. Feminism is against sexism. 

Once, I was told that there is no need for feminism anymore. By a male.
Here are a few reasons I need feminism: (these do not apply to everything do not take them personally...unless they apply to you)

• Men are passing laws about abortion. I'm sorry but unless they have a womb and can carry a baby in themselves for 9 months I don't think they're ones to make choices about this. 
• When a man is involved with many women he is looked up to, but when a women is involved with many men she is considered promiscuous and not in a good way. 
• Rape. Women are blamed for getting raped. We are expected to not wear revealing clothing but the rapist is not expected to have self control. 
• The female body is overly sexualised.
• Most women are expected to cook, know how to clean a house and do chores, be sweet and polite, and to look good.
• I'm not allowed to wear shorts in school because it's deemed inappropriate, by, guess who, men. 
• I have to watch what I wear or the way I sit because of social standards. 
• I am also expected to take very good care of my hygiene but it's okay for a guy to stink of sweat all year and wear the same clothes every day. 
• Women are considered weak for showing emotions. 
• Women who do not want to do what a male wants are considered crazy, rude, or arrogant.
• Men are insulted when they are called 'girls' or swear words which have female meanings. 
• Most leaders of countries are male. Most politicians are male. 
• The song 'Blurred Lines'. Do not watch the video. 

And the list goes on. 

I understand if people are joking to me about male superiority. I sometimes make sexist jokes myself. But that's all they are. Jokes. Sexism is a sick joke. But not everybody realizes it's there. 

I hope this is at least slightly helpful in understanding why I'm a feminist and why it's nothing to be made fun of. 

Cheerio.

Misfortune

Most people get colds, sprain their ankles, break bones, and have common illnesses/problems like that.
Me? I get the oddest, least common things ever, and usually learn about the existence of my disease when I get it.
This time, I apparently have tendonitis, which according to my Mac's dictionary is : inflammation of a tendon, most commonly from overuse.

So basically my right arm gave up on me because I used it too much. Now I'm not supposed to use it for 4-5 days (I'm writing this with my left hand which is extremely uncomfortable). Funny thing is I told this to a teacher and she agreed that I shouldn't use it...but after assigning an essay homework. Well I guess this is good practice for my dream to be ambidextrous.

I wanted to write a blog entry about something else, more important and class related after a month hiatus, but sadly I cannot. 

Oh also, my workload has caused me an actual disease!! Next time I get a big assignment I have a legitimate reason to complain.

Poetry

I might have mentioned my little green poetry notebook before, but if I didn't:

It's a pocket-sized notebook where I write poems from the perspective of a character. His name is Dave, he is a high school senior when the notebook begins, and continues onto college as it goes. He also has a rather harsh life and poetry and music are his ways of escaping from it all. 

Here is a poem I wrote in this notebook in Brooklyn Bridge Park (yes, he lives in Brooklyn) while I was at Pratt. It's always fun asking random people for rhyming words as you travel along the mysterious rat infested holes of the subway. It's rather simple. 

Sad Summer Day

Brooklyn weather:

Don't wear leather.

You will burn,

Sun tan earn.

Oh boy, summer,

Makes you dumber.

Got no aim, 

Everyday the same.

Lonely and sweaty,

Lifespan petty. 

This is a photo I took while I was there :) 

Here is another one. 

5 A.M.

My insomnia has lasted 

too long;

I need some medicine

for a good long sleep

with no waking.

Morpheus take me,

give me sweet eternal dreams. 

--------

The reason I don't always share these poems is they seem rather personal to him and might sound odd coming from me, but I might publish some I like later. 

The Origin of How Males Fool Themselves

Hello! I wrote this for TOK, but I quite like my ideas here so I wanted to share it on my blog. 

How and why are gender biases and stereotypes affected by a person’s upbringing?

I find gender differences fascinating. People tend to separate women and men.  The extent to which they do this differs from culture to culture, but it’s common for there to be stereotypes assigned to the two different gender groups.

Here are some of those stereotypes…

·      Women belong in the house.

·      Women must raise kids.

·      Men must go to work.

·      Men are strong.

·      Women are emotional.

·      Women are bad at sports.

·      Men are messy.

·      Women are clean.

·      Etc.

The origin of these is even more fascinating. A few years back, I had read a comic book about the evolution of humankind and the history of all their cultures and societies. This comic book, named The Cartoon History of the Universe, written by Larry Gonick, had its own explanation for the origin of sexism. It explains that when humans adapted to a sedentary life, their cultural habits began to change. Men were tasked to do things that required physical strength, like hunting, fishing and fighting. But women had everything else in control. They were respected, because they gave birth to kids and continued their race. Men did not realize that they had a part in reproduction too.  One day, a shepherd man watching his sheep, realized that coitus had something to do with babies. This led to the entire male population keeping their wives in their homes just so they could know where the babies were coming from. And this was how sexism began.

But this is sexism in history. How does sexism start… in a person? It all depends on how the person grows: what they learn from school, their families, and their environment. Sexism is just an opinion. But it is an opinion with big effects on society.

The moment I wrote down the question I asked as the title, I thought of my own childhood. My own parents had not taught me the rules of being a girl, I had learned from my friends and people around me. Girls got to wear skirts or pants for a school uniform, but boys did not have this choice. Girls’ parents chose to dress them in pink and decorate their room with this colour. It was like a label. If you had anything pink, you had to be a girl. Why did we have to be labeled like an object? Why did boys wear blue? Why did there have to be a difference?

This difference of colour was a small detail. Growing up, our games were different too. Girls played house, they pretended to have babies and cooked and did things their mothers did, while boys played video games and threw action figures at each other. Why is it that girls play a game so applicable to life? Were games supposed to prepare you for something? If so, then as a girl who enjoys video games, I must be seriously prepared for an apocalypse or must be a master of hand to hand combat, as well as being a housewife.

I never really thought about gender roles, until my cousin was born. Watching my little boy cousin grow, I got to experience what it felt like to grow up as a boy. You were always reminded how to behave. “Boys don’t cry.” “Boys are strong!” “Boys don’t play with Barbies.” “Boys don’t wear pink.”

Now I can make connections between things. I’ll never truly understand where sexism comes from, but this is my theory. Boys, being constantly told to be strong, connect other things with strength. For example, if they don’t cry when they fall, they must be strong. If they don’t wear girly colours, they must be strong. If they play sports well, they must be strong. And by coincidence, girls just happen to do all the things they classify as ‘weak’. So if someone is feminine, they must be weak. And this causes some of them to think they must be better than girls, because they are strong.

Sexism is affected by language, reason, and emotion. 

Reflections

This blog entry got me thinking of all the little stuff I accomplished in the summer.
So now I'll list all my boring accomplishments and tie it into my homework task, because why not?

I wrote many, many poems. I keep a little notebook where I write poems from the perspectives of a character, but they all reflect a bit of me too.
I drew so many pictures.
I started a notebook where I drew reference pictures for all my characters. Though I didn't get to finish it because it takes a lot of work and I have over 50 active characters in my story.
I played Pokemon like crazy. Video games deserve a separate entry.
I bought really old original comics. They are so amazing.
I read most of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I don't know why but that book just fascinates me. I love the authors style and I love everything that's going on and I love how confusingly simple everything is. I read MOST of it, and not all, because I had to read another book before school started.

Yes, the Bridge of San Luis Rey.
Honestly, when I first started reading this book I was not interested. The story did not attract me, but I really enjoyed the author's tone and style, so I kept going. The stories of the characters started getting more and more interesting to me as there were more connections made between characters, mostly concentrating around the Perichole. It was intriguing to see how one character could affect so many others without even intending to. The book made me think about what I believed in, and whether such coincidences could be 'acts of God' or not. Our discussions in class also evoked lots of thoughts in my mind, and I found myself wondering when and why natural disasters occurred, and what sort of control this superior being had on the world (if it existed, of course). It was also useful to learn more about these phenomena because I could use this information if I ever end up writing about a hurricane or a meteorite.
Discussing the book, the plot, and the characters in class really helped me realize things I had missed out or forgotten. Since everybody is different, they all notice and remember different things when reading a book. When all these different people sit down to talk about it, they all share unique opinions and points. Listening to my classmates' beliefs gave me more thoughts to consider so I could built my own, strong opinion in the end. The role play our friends did helped with this process as well. I got to see faces of characters I hadn't yet seen, and more of their personalities and goals.

Goodpiefulness (how full you are of good pie)

Hello!

I have received the task of writing about numbers and ranking people and all that jazz. 

I was actually going to do this on Friday even though I didn't even know it was an assignment, but then I ended up spending the whole day in bed with a fever or tumbling around the house with my head spinning and feeling like it was splitting open and not hearing anything because my ears were blocked. 

We were supposed to rate ourselves on Brother Juniper's scale. The scale basically rates a person on their goodness, piety, and usefulness, out of 30 (so 10 for each). 

I gave myself a 5 for goodness, 3 for piety, and 5 for usefulness, making a total of 13 out of 30.

It was rather hard to give myself a score.... because the scale wasn't all that specific. How good was I out of 10? Good according to what? Piety was kind of easier because although I have no idea which religion I believe in I have an idea of what I believe in (which I might make a separate post about later, because it's not necessarily God or a god...). But usefulness? Some might say I'm a 10/10. Some might say I'm a -10. 

So I scored myself on what I believed I was, but this was only one opinion out of all the people who know me. Not that accurate. 

I gave myself a 5 for goodness because I am good to those who I think deserve it, and to those I love. And I'm not bad or menacing to those I don't like, but I'm not always the nicest person, so I thought a 5 was a valid score. 

I'm not religious, I identify myself as agnostic because I've never really given enough thought to religion so I don't want to say I'm an atheist. Because I don't know if I am. So I chose a 3, because I do believe in some sort of hidden presence. 

I was most confused about usefulness because I really don't know what I'm supposed to base this on.

In class when the vagueness of this scale was mentioned, I was interested. 

I think it's okay to rate people on a number scale as long as this scale and the reason behind each number is well explained to avoid any confusion. And I don't think these ratings can always be taken as fact. They should be considered, but not shared with everyone as information. 

I remember making little ID cards for my characters back in 3rd or 4th grade, and I used to rate them on their strength, magic, and etc. This helped classify them and use them in situations where they would be most fitting. I guess people want to rate others so they can know when they'd be suitable. Because everybody just wants to control what goes on around them, so it's natural that they'd pick people for task that benefit them.

Just some ideas... 

Update on comic:

I finished most of the pencils of one page!!! I just have background details left :) 

Yay!! 

Ramblings about Cartoons

I don't really know why I'm writing this entry. I just felt like talking about this topic to someone... and that someone happened to be blogger.

Lately I've been listening to soundtracks from anime I've watched, and this got me thinking about my connection to anime and cartoons.
Here are a few links to ones I like...
L's Theme B (from Death Note)
Light's Theme (also from Death Note)


The first anime I watched and have a clear memory of is Shaman King. It was about this kid called Yoh (his name means leaf) who happens to be a shaman and has to fight his way through the Shaman King Tournament along with his buddy spirit Amidamaru (I think that's how you spell his name) and the many friends he makes along the way.

I'd forgotten about it and never really thought about anime, until someone told me my art style really looked like it was out of a manga. This really frustrated me, because I was being told I was not original. I'd developed that drawing style over many years. I'd been working on it since 5th grade, and being told that it was cliche really hurt me. So I grew to have a negative prejudice against all manga and anime.
But my good friend Levent forced me into reading the manga Fullmetal Alchemist. It was one of the greatest comic series I'd ever read. I also ended up watching both versions of the anime... and they had quite a lot of episodes!! This one was about two brothers, alchemists, who had made a great sacrifice trying to revive their mother, and how they had to fight 'homunculi' who were all named after a deadly sin to recover what they lost.

The latest anime I watched was just amazing. It's called Death Note. I'd watched the first episode last year out of curiosity, but it had really unnerved me. So I hadn't continued the series. But I had the chance to meet a half Japanese anime fan at Pratt, who told me I should keep watching it. So I did. And I stayed up till 2 am watching the anime for 3 days straight. Basically it tells the story of a high school kid named Light who finds a notebook named the "Death Note" which has the power to kill anyone whose name is written in it. Followed by the god of death that owns it, Light wants to create a better world for people to live in by killing criminals whose names are broadcasted on the news. Light is quickly noticed by the famous and anonymous detective L, and the anime is about their race on finding out who the other really is, so they can take them out for good. It has the best plot twists I have experienced so far.

I watch a lot of cartoons too... I spent a year watching Justice League, Justice League Unlimited, Teen Titans, Young Justice, and my absolute favorite: Legion of Superheroes.
Now what's so different about anime and American cartoons?

Maybe this is because anime always have very dramatic backstories for every single character, but I find it so much easier to love and relate to a character in an anime or manga.
I remember after finishing Shaman King I couldn't stop thinking about the characters and trying to imagine what would happen to them next (though it was a rather long anime with about 65-70 episodes I think... so that's no surprise).
I also shed a tear when a character died in Fullmetal Alchemist.
And I remember running into my suitemates' room after I finished watching Death Note and yelling for 5 minutes straight before running back to my room and throwing myself on the bed in frustration.

Superhero comics don't seem to evoke that much emotion in me... (though my reaction to Superboy's death was extreme because it seriously was so sad... ugggh)
So I have gotten over my silly prejudice, improved my drawing style to be completely original, and now I recommend most people to stop judging people for watching anime or being 'fangirls' and start enjoying these wonders themselves!!

Spreading Religion, Destroying Empires

The Inca Empire was a giant empire. The Incas worshipped many gods of nature. They were ruled by a formidable emperor who was a descendent of the sun god. The people were always well fed, and lived in rather good conditions. They were conquered by the Spanish, and the empire fell in the 1500s.

Franciscans were followers/disciples of St. Francis. They were Christians, mostly Catholics. Saint Francis was a man who decided to live in poverty, away from all materialistic desires.

The Franciscans travelled to the newly discovered continent along with the rest of Europe. The general purposes of these travels were to colonize America, and spread the European cultures and religions. The Franciscans wanted to spread Christianity, and then the teachings of St. Francis. The Franciscans not only affected the religion of the Americans, but also the language they spoke and allowed them to experience the Spanish culture.

The Franciscans were a mechanism for building a connection, a bridge, between the European and Incan cultures.

-----------

This blog post has been open the whole day because I couldn't pick photos! But here are some I took in Greece! I quite like these:

This was a boat designed to look like a pirate ship! Pretty cool!

Sting! I was extremely tempted to buy this but I prefer using my imagination with my wooden sword at home, and I already have the Ring, so I didn't really need it. 

Farewell. 

IB? Where did that come from?

Being reminded of the existence of this blog, I spent this night reading some older posts. I find them highly...amusing? I suppose?
I'll have less tirades and complaints on this blog and hopefully more content about class this year.
The reason I was so whiny was because I was rather angry at the world and had issues with many things but I've spent quite a while alone figuring things out, and now I'm at peace with myself and most other things. I'm "chill", if you will. I feel like I have a wider view of everything. Being closed up and introverted also allowed me to observe and understand many things I would not have before, and I grew to have an acceptance of things around me. Honestly, I feel a lot wiser.

Anyways, for the summer I was at Pratt for a month and got to draw a lot of comics. One of our tasks was to design the cover of a comic... and my drawing was actually picked by my teacher and used as the cover of a collection of drawings from the class! I was extremely excited about that and had a lot of fun there.
Creating comics there really motivated and inspired me. Realizing my writing wasn't as good as I thought it was before, I decided I'd just turn my still 55 page novel into a graphic novel. So lately I've been working on story boards and designing pages.
I was thinking of making it a webcomic... but it'd be hard to get readers and actually make it interesting to people, so that's still a thought.
But I'm seriously serious (ha ha) about it. So I'll write updates on that at the end of my blog posts, in case anyone is interested.
I also have scans of my comics but I don't really want to upload them on my blog sooooo...

I was not ready for school at all. I still don't believe it's real. I still think it's all a terrible nightmare. I'll return to reality on the last day of school.

I also got really interested in poetry! So I might make posts about my poems later on.
Though right now I'm going back to doodling!
Farewell!

Poems

Hullo, I wrote a poem.

Truths

There are only few

Who can understand 

without having to experience.

And no one in the crew

of this shipwreck named Life

has made it through the strife. 

Now hear me out

Loud and clear

You and I 

Have the same fear.

Might think you're better, 

Might think I'm icky,

But in the end;

Death is not picky. 

I wrote a lot more but I don't want to put all of them up, so here's a haiku.

Just a Brick in the Wall 

People need to stop

thinking their lives are TV

soap operas. Geez. 

Bye!

MEDIEVAL RAMBLINGS

Hello!

My last post was in January! Oh no! Haha...

Well since then, until now, I've just been really busy with school. Teachers think we're superhumans. 

But I did write 50 pages of my novel and send it off to Scholastic. The results will come in in May, and I'm hoping I win something! Writing 50 pages takes a lot of effort... I'd like it to be worth something. And then I don't know what else I did. I really don't. My memory is so terrible right now. 

This post is more for me than anybody else, because I have this concept that I want to write down so I don't forget. 

First off, a short summary of where this idea came from:

One day Ezgi was hyperactive after eating tangerines, and she was just being weird to me on skype chat. So she was pretending to be offended by something I said, and would not return from her 'corner' until I said "No, you are beautiful, like the rainbow." So Ezgi's hyperactive character took the name of Rainbow. Soon enough I became "Bully1" and another friend was "Curly1".

Another day when Ezgi was being Rainbow, I said I was the mighty "Sir Sapphire" and she could not act that way to me. Then I said I would protect Rainbow from Señor Sepia, and that she should watch out for Madame Maroon. I felt like this colour theme was really fun, so I created characters representing each colour of the rainbow. And they all live in a medieval/steampunk world. 

So about all these people in ROYGBIV order...

Madame Maroon (RED) — She's aged about 40, making her the oldest in all of the rainbow people. She has flowing red hair (not ginger mind you, but truly red). She is the leader of a large group of gypsies. She is a highly respected woman, and is a bit of a mother figure to Sir Sapphire, whom I will talk about soon. MM knows how to work things out, and nobody jokes with her, unless she is joking with them. She's not too developed yet. She has the ability to convince people into doing whatever she wants, charmspeak, if you will. 

Citric Cabellero (ORANGE) — This rather young man is a ginger knight with plenty of swords and freckles. He is the Knight of the Knights. He leads all of them, and even if he is not the most experienced, he is with no contest, the best. He is known for his charming smile and amazing sword skills. He and his ancestors have been loyal to the Sapphire Kings for decades. He doesn't speak much, he's more of a man of action. 

Señor Sepia (YELLOW) — SS is a man of Spanish ethnicity. He speaks with an accent and doesn't speak of anything well most of the time. His only purpose is to usurp the throne from the blues. Though as the cliche fairy tale requires, he never succeeds. And he is not the greatest threat. He is just one man with a lot of money and ambition. 

Mint Mistress (GREEN) — Viridiana, comes from a family of wizards and witches. She is Sir Sapphire's childhood friend, and has very strong magical abilities. She also takes care of all the Castle folk and employs the maids. A jack-0f-all-trades. She's rather cold and serious, which doesn't make everybody happy. 

Sir Sapphire (BLUE) — Prince Bartholomew, son of King Oliver, seems like the most cheerful, the most peaceful king the rainbow kingdom has ever seen. He was crowned at a very early age of 10, and the trauma of his father's death still haunts him. He struggles to make everything right under such pressure. He is a boy of around 18, but looks like he's 14. He ages slower than everybody around him, and is a very strong mage. His symbols are the eagle and the lightning bolt. He can also communicate with animals. His most loyal friend is his pet tiger, Richard Parker (Life of Pi reference...) whom he saved as a cub and looked after. His other signature animals are his pegasus Boltfire, his cats, his eagle Samuel, and his trusty fox Brandon. His sword is called Judivica, and it's handles are a pair of wings which also work as a sheath when the sword is not in use. Being the sword of justice, Bart can only use it after injustice has been done, and can only un-sheath it by yelling "Judivica, fly!" 

Indigo Inquisitor (INDIGO) — Not much to say about him, he's the royal judge and looks after the law which ss is too busy to handle. No one can lie to the Indigo Inquisitor. He is a quiet, mysterious man with sideburns. 

Violet Vigilante (VIOLET) — Elliot is a young man in his early 20s. He grew up in the village, and took care of his little sister. Someday he mysteriously gained the power to manipulate UV light, molecules, and whatnot. He decided his powers could be of use to the word, and took up the name of... VIOLET VIGILANTE!! This violet masked hero is the last rainbow colour to join the group. He is young, arrogant, and rather talkative. He likes to joke around, and the only reason Bart keeps him around is because he is a good listener, can cheer him up, and also has saved his life multiple times. 

ENOUGH OF THOSE NOW MINOR CHARACTERS

Bully1 — She is a young lady with anger management problems. After having her heart broken, she dyed her hair blue and swore to herself to have her revenge. Obsessed with the thought of equality and justice, she became an assassin, and works for Sir Sapphire. Though most people who meet her think she is just an aggressive girl wearing boys clothes. Little do they know... She can travel through shadows and can electrocute people. 

Curly1 — Still being developed, village wizard. Has a curly beard.

Rainbow — A girl obsessed with tangerines. She is...the CHOSEN ONE!! She always wears orange dresses and is always surrounded by tangerines.

Richard Parker — A Bengal tiger, whose mother and siblings were murdered by bandits who were after tiger fur. Bart happened to be passing by, and even though he was very small, was able to save the only remaining cub from the bandits using his magic skills. Richard Parker is his only true friend until VV comes in, and they always protect each other.

Sir David — Citrus Caballero's right hand, Dave is a loyal knight. He is also one of the only people who can have an honest conversation with Sir Sapphire.

The Scorpion (BLACK) — Just when Sir Sapphire had thought all his troubles had disappeared with Señor Sepia being arrested, he realized his troubles had just begun. The Scorpion is an immoral, evil man who wants to obliterate the rainbow kingdom. He rules an army made of scorpion/human hybrid creatures. He is rather mysterious.

The Raccoon — Ryan, is a witch working for the Scorpion. She does not like it at all, and she feels very used. She is sent to assassinate Sir Sapphire, but Bart is protected by Dave. Ryan manages to injure Dave, but Bart stops her from killing him and puts her in prison. Ryan is impressed by their friendship and kindness, and after falling in love with Dave decides to leave the Scorpion and join the rainbow kingdom. She had an habit of sneaking into people's houses at night and stealing their food and items. She is also a parallel to the Mint Mistress.

Eliza (WHITE) — Nobody knows anything about her. She's a bit like Galdalf, always appearing when it's the perfect time. She's Bart's mom! Spoilers! She wears flowing white gowns and glows white. 

I SHALL UPLOAD PICTURES SOON

Holy Hiatus Batman

Oh no. My last post was in November.
I did not forget that this blog existed, I was reminded every few weeks by my imaginary second self, but I don't know what happened.
Well, during the time while I was not blogging, nothing much happened. Just except 2013 maybe.
Oh and I wrote the first 50 pages of my novel and sent it off to the Scholastic Writing Competition. Excited!
Now we have finals. I shall post more soon.
Adios for now!