Once, there was a thunderstorm going on outside. I had stopped doing my homework, and was staring at the dark sky, waiting for the flash of that lightning I so very much adore. Once, twice, they shot down the sky, splitting into veins. A one second event was enough the excite me. My face was stuck to the chilly window. Lightning struck once more, and I noticed a dark shape zoom by. I looked around to find it. Nowhere in sight! Then I saw it again, I saw more of them this time. It didn't take me long enough to realize they were...bats!
I'd only seen a bat one before (not counting the ones in zoos) and even then I couldn't make out it's shape. They flew quickly. These were like that too. They zipped around. After bending and looking from different angles, I caught a glimpse of the shape of one of their bodies. It was exactly like Batman's logo.
So that was pretty cool. Lightning, thunder, and bats.
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A little tirade coming up? Not very angry...but sad?
Like every human being I have my flaws too. My flaws are one of the things that make me a person. For example, I'm too emotional—I feel emotions too quickly and too intensely, my emotions are like a very sensitive balance—I'm short, I also have a short temper (heh heh, SHORT. >: ( ), I get offended easily, I can be mean.
(But I have my good sides too. I think I have plenty of them. I'm not all flaws.)
And I think I can control my emotions rather nicely. I know how to push them down and suffer internally and not show most of them to the outside. True, I break down frequently, but no one is around when I do (except a friend on Skype) and I get through it all by myself. No one in this school has seen my true 'angry' face. You've seen me pissed off, annoyed, irritated, frustrated, but not angry. Angry is what I was yesterday, when I'm angry I truly lose control of everything.
And I'm so sorry about my height issues. I'm so sorry about my genes if it bothers everybody so much.
I try to look past people's flaws, because that's what I want them to do too. They say you should do what you want others to do to you. Of course when I try so hard to look past others' flaws, I expect them to do the same.
I once did shove people's flaws into their faces, but I stopped. I don't say anything now. So why shove it in my face? I know my flaws. Why tell me again? And why laugh at me because of something that makes me, me?
If I look past your flaws and I deal with everything you screw up, can't you try—TRY, not DO—to look past mine too?
What does it mean to be too emotional? How do you determine that you feel emotions too quickly or too intensely?
ReplyDeleteHaving those intensities often indicate a depth of feeling most people seem not to possess.
What makes for a flaw is self-absorption, a lack of awareness that you are one among others who comprise a community, that you deserve no more and no less than any other member of that community, that you are entitled only to respect for being a human (you are human, aren't you?) and not because of the people you know or the size of your salary.
The whole purpose of education is to learn how to feel deeply, including how to manage the depth and breadth of feeling. It's a continuous process that challenges young and old alike. Aging allows us to develop the fruits of patience and endurance, two traits that might distinguish those with flawless character.
The fruits you bear are more important than the roots you share, Begüm. Just be sure you're rooted in good earth, and let the stars pull you upward.