Mea Culpa

"Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa."
"My fault, my fault, my most grievous fault."

I'm reading School for Gods by Stefano D'ana for ethics class. The phrase 'mea culpa' is from the second chapter, part 10. I might not have translated correctly for I'm reading it in Turkish. The book is about a man who meets this being named the Dreamer, and how he changes and many things about life.
Mrs. Ayşe assigned me this book, telling me I was mature enough to understand it. Honestly I only picked it because she said that and I thought it might refer to mythology.
It does mention heroes and demigods, not their deeds, but why they are remembered now. The book talks about how we control the world around us, and things that happen are just like mirror reflections of us. We can only call ourself "I" when we know ourself.
It's a very hard and long book, and words and ideas are being stuffed into my mind. I think it's rather complicated and definitely not written for young adults. But I've learned things from the book too. I can't say what, but I feel a little different, and I look at things differently. I'm—perhaps—wiser.
It's interesting to read, but I do wish I picked something easier.

A lot of pigeons have visited my windowsill today. Their visits are short, and our eyes meet only once or twice before they take off. They're very cautious. I placed some food for them a few minutes ago. I do that very often. It puts a smile on my face when they move their heads in that way that they do and look to see if I'm doing anything. They're not the most intelligent organisms on Earth, but I'm fascinated by them. In places where you can buy seeds from street vendors to feed the pigeons, I always do, and I feel like I have this connection with the birds stumbling around my feet. They're just in it for the food, and maybe I'm just sounding stupid.
Whenever I see a pigeon I get distracted from whatever I'm doing and cannot return to my work before saying "Pigeon." and staring at it until I'm satisfied.

That was random.
Lately I've been trying to contain my anger and enjoying everything that happens. It's working out well, but stress still manages to break my walls and upset me.
I hate homework on the weekends. I absolutely, purely, hate it, despise it.
And I don't hate things often.

Hmm. That's pretty much it...

~Chubby Pigeon Out.